so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
