Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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