So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
