Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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