and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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