New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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