just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
