From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
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Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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