YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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