my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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