I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
