Need sex. Gaining weight.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
