She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
