somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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