Need sex. Gaining weight.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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