Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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