Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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