the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
