So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize