Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
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the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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