I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
