What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
