Need sex. Gaining weight.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Even the bartender felt bad for me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
