you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
