Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
