I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
