Me too!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
