I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
