____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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