just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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