I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I deserve this hangover.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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