I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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