Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
