Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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