is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
