the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
