I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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