just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize