I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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