He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you never un-have a 4some
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
