That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
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She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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