also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
MIDGETS
????
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
