my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize