he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
