these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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