apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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