Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
