Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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