One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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