Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
