I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
