Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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