We won't sleep together?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
