I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
time to smoke my breakfast
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
