But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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