also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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