Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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