Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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