mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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