okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
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I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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