We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
