Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
