Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
