apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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