And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
